Developers Request Changes to Columbia Park

Ynnub Retsae

If all goes as planned, goal posts will be replaced by bleachers once again.

The developers of the upcoming Art Color housing project have requested a last-minute change before breaking ground this Summer.

That request… switching Columbia Park’s football field back to its original east to west orientation. According to Dunellen Recreation Commissioner Miles Alexander, the switch would allow some of the new residents to view the football games from their balconies. This amenity would allow premier pricing for the soon-to-be-available townhouses edging the park, potentially resulting in bidding wars and bringing up home values town-wide.

“This town is known for its football. So why not market it as a plus for moving to Dunellen?” pontificated Loof Lirpa, spokesperson for the developers. He did acknowledge that the plan of switching the football field 90 degrees had some issues that would need to be resolved, mainly related to funding, a cost which the developers were unwilling to take on.

The park improvements that were done in the 2000s were done in part with Green Acres monies which would have to be returned. Lirpa suggested that corporate sponsorship of the field and personal seat licenses would cover most expenses. Turning the snack hut into a quick-serve franchise restaurant would cover the rest.

“The town could potentially make enough money to put in that lawn bowling court it’s been talking about since 2016,” Lirpa stated. “As they say in my home country YAD SLOOF LIRPA YPPAH.”

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