satire

This summer, the Dunellen High School’s football field at Columbia Park will have an additional use, as a lawn bowling court. Head of the Dunellen Recreation Commission, Miles Alexander, stated in a press release issued on March 32, “Because space is limited in Dunellen, everything must do triple-duty. The field was recently used for our Easter Hunt with great success. We knew there had to be another way to use this hundred yards of grass.” According to Alexander, it was Loof Lirpa, a Recreation board member and Second Vice President of the Dunellen Historical Society, who originally made the suggestion of lawn bowling as the field’s summer use. Continue Reading →

Filed under: Dunellen, april fool's day, satire

Starting next week, Rome Pizza will no longer be selling plain cheese pizza. Citing new food trends and lack of demand for simple ingredients, owner John Confalone said that he would now only be selling pizzas with at least two toppings. “Yes, we were named the best pizzeria in Central Jersey but no one wants to eat what their parents and grandparents grew up eating.” Confalone said.”More is more. People want to be overwhelmed by flavors.” Continue Reading →

Filed under: Dunellen, april fool's day, satire